You thought you were soooo cool. Where was I headed exactly? No clue, but I was happy with the unknown. And in many ways, I still feel that same way. The only difference is now, I am approaching the mid-twenties, and wow is it not what I expected it would be. I wonder if there are many people out there who are exactly where they thought they would be approaching the big 2-5. Career path- sorted. Married or engaged- sorted. Kids already, or in the very near future- sorted. EVERYTHING FIGURED OUT- SORTED. Does this really even happen? I hope I am not the only one who HASN'T figured ANY of that out...yet!
In many ways, I still feel like I am just starting out in my journey. It has after all taken me this long to figure out exactly what I want to do (career-wise) and many times over, I still question myself, is this REALLY what I want to do? Most of the time its a yes that I tell myself but other times I still doubt myself. After all, how can you be 100 percent certain you are ever on the right track?!
I am still that same dreamer I always was as a stringy haired 10 year old except hopefully a little wiser.. I believe.. You are NEVER too old to have BIG DREAMS. All you gotta do is GO FOR THEM.
Well I thought I would write myself some goals for this year and also a letter to myself exactly 25 more years from now. I am so scared to be turning 25, I know I should embrace it and all that, after all I am not old or anything, BUT the years keep flying by so fast! Going to sleep every night lately and having mini freak-out thoughts of "OMG... 25.. that's not 18 anymore or anywhere near it.." "Where am I going?" "Is all this hard work and studying in fashion going to pay off?" "When is my career path going to begin?" "WHERE WILL I END UP?" And maybe if I had everything exactly set out as I imagined I would at the age of 25, I wouldn't be so terrified.. Geez! If I am this bad now, I wonder what I will be like when I turn 30.. Ok..enough talk about numbers, what do they really mean anyway...
Goals for this year:
Graduate from AICD
Intern or gain as much industry work experience as possible (no matter what city this takes me to)
Begin the early stages of sourcing fabrics/suppliers/manufacturers for the 'ARAE' swimwear label
Come up with a fabulous business name
Travel to a place I have never been to
Tone up! and get professional photos done for my '50 year old self'
Create my own textile prints for swimwear and beach bags
Register a domain name to get a website up and running
Be a part of something amazing
More to come
....Letter to my 50 year old self
Dear Alexa,
Happy Birthday!!! You are 50!!! And still looking fabulous. I hope you have made it this far. I know how you loved to party and live on the edge in your younger days... Actually, you probably still do, who am I kidding? Well, on a more mature scale of course.. :wink face:
I'm sure the years have just flown by and it seems like yesterday you were writing this letter. Thoughts and feelings 25 years ago? Scared. Uncertain. Immature. Excited. Doubtful. Positive. Hopeful. (to sum it all up)
Don't get discouraged if you have a mini freak-out on this day as well. 50 is a big milestone, but you should always be proud of yourself because you always tried your best. I really hope by now you know exactly who you are, and that is a bright, caring, loving, independent, intelligent young woman. You have no doubt learned this from one of the best examples you could, and that is your mom. Which I'm sure you have passed on to your children as well. When you were 25, you wanted to do SOOOO many things. I hope you did them. If you didn't that's ok too, it just means it wasn't the right path or maybe something better was meant to happen. You wanted to have your own swimwear label, you wanted to work for Beach Bunny, you wanted to someday live in Cali to be closer to your family, you wanted to have a family (in your late 20s), you wanted to live on the beach, you wanted to get a puppy, you wanted to do more traveling, you loved to sing, loved new adventures and loved meeting new people. You knew who your true friends were then as I'm sure you do now, and know the ones that didn't make it to the next chapter and why. Remember, everything happened for a reason.
At 25, you were passionate about health and working out but still wanted to have a good balance of having fun and letting loose. I'm sure that trait is still there. You were an American Girl living in AUSTRALIA, and have seen so many amazing and beautiful places.You may or may not still be living there, which was a second home and a place part of the heart will always be. Who knows where life took you?... You were only just figuring it all out and discovering your true self at the tender age of 25. Life happens when you're not expecting it. Let it happen. People will always be jealous of other people's carefree and positive spirits, let them be. Stay outspoken and stay strong. They are the ones losing in the end. Haters will hate, f* em! (You probably already told them to anyway)
ALWAYS BE YOURSELF. If anyone tries to change you, they shouldn't be in your life.
I hope you are still passionate and full of life, and never for one second, got discouraged with who you are or where you were going as a person. Life is scary but it is also a wonderful ride. And you still have MANY more years ahead to come. Enjoy them and enjoy each and every moment. Time may have passed too quickly to comprehend, but you are not the only one! No time is ever wasted. Your loved ones are always with you, if you have lost some along the way. You will see them again some day, until then they are always in your heart and soul.
And don't get frightened by the wrinkles that may be appearing on your face either, or the grey hairs which who knows when they even started appearing; and who knows in this day and age you are living in, you probably still look like you did 25 years ago by some miracle cream in a jar?! If not though, just remember, they are signs of wisdom, knowledge, strength, and BEAUTY. Something nobody can ever take away from you.
FAMILY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT. SO ARE TRUE FRIENDS. LIVE WITH PASSION. ALWAYS BE YOU. THATS ALL YOU CAN DO. AND ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU FEEL IN YOUR HEART IS RIGHT, and you can never go wrong.
Love Always,
Alexa Rae Ashley
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